A Portrait of the Father
Caleb Hyers | The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5 to 7) | Father’s Day
YOU DON’T NEED MORE INFORMATION, YOU NEED A CONVICTION
The title of my actual message today is A Portrait of the Father. As always, I sat with the Lord. It is usually on Wednesday, and I just said, what are You saying, Lord? And He showed me that Jesus first of all spoke about the Father a lot in the Sermon on the Mount. He brought that to my mind. Then I started saying, what is He actually saying? And He showed me a picture. It is pretty amazing if you look at it, because there are actually 17 references to the Father. They fit into three categories, and I am going to share that with you today.
But first I want to say this: Father’s Day can touch you for different reasons. We get Mother’s Day, where it is all so nice and so wonderful and glowing. We love you, Mom. Oh my gosh, you are the best. And then Father’s Day comes: do better. Get it together, men. Be a man. Figure it out. I am not doing that today. I do not want you to receive that. Before we jump into it, I just want you to know, I am here to challenge you, but I hope that you can actually be invigorated by the Spirit and encouraged and validated in all that you are doing. So that is my hope today.
Let’s pray. It is really important that we actually pray a specific way before a message. Not that you hear me, or that I convince you of something, but that you hear the Father. I do not think this is practiced enough. I am trying to be an example here.
You do not need more information. You are overtaught and undeployed. You know more than almost all the apostles did back in their day. If you have been in church for any amount of time, you have more access to the Scriptures than at any other time in history. You do not need another lesson. You need a conviction. You need God to say something, because when God says something, your feet start moving, either toward what He said or away from Him in rebellion. But you move. When God speaks, you get going in one direction or the other. And that is what I want. I want to hear God so I can go with God. Then I want to do something. I want to make an impact. I want to be something.
So let’s just pray. Father, would You open our ears? Even pray it yourself: my own ears, open. Hear what the Spirit is saying today. You do not need more information. You need an impartation of the Person of the Word. So, Person of the Word, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, would You abide in this atmosphere, and would You be made known right now? Nothing that I figured out, nothing cute. Lord, we need You. Can you say that with me? Lord, we need You. We need Your voice. We need Your Word. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
Again, my title is A Portrait of the Father. I just want to say this: Jesus did not preach this sermon to shame fathers or grieve the fatherless. He preached it to give everyone a clear view of the heavenly Father. And I am on the same mission today. I am not here to shame any dads. I am not here to grieve any fatherless. I want to give you a clear view of the heavenly Father.
If you take every reference to the Father from these three chapters, all 17 of them, they fit into three categories, more or less. And I believe that is the portrait of the Father that Jesus is giving. So I am going to give you those three categories right now, and then we are going to walk through it. Number one, He talks about the Father who sees you. Number two, He talks about the Father who provides for you in the Sermon on the Mount. And number three, He talks about the Father who sets the example for you. I think it is a pretty potent picture. There are three P’s.
CALL NO MAN YOUR FATHER ON EARTH
Here is my poem. I want to talk to the dads, and I want to talk to the kids. All the dads are also kids, so let’s hear it on multiple levels. To the fathers in the room: we need to see God the Father as our source of identity, and not our earthly father, no matter how great they were. We need to see God the Father as our source of identity and seek to father the way He fathers. It cannot be, well, this is just how my family does it. It cannot be, this is just the best I have. It cannot be, well, I had a good example, so I will do that earthly thing. No. He is the source of identity for us as fathers. He has a way about Him. He is the way. So we should do it His way.
This is not just an observation from Matthew 5 or 7. This is a command of Scripture.
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. (Ephesians 5:1)
How many know every father is first a child of God? So we should obey this command in our fathering. We should seek to imitate the Father, knowing we will not be a flawless image of God, but an imitator. There is nothing wrong with that kind of imitator. This is not a fake imitation. This is, oh, You do it that way, Father? Okay, I am going to do it that way for them. It is good to imitate. It is a command: be imitators of God. So, fathers, you are going to make mistakes. You are going to make mistakes, and the Father is going to make up for them.
To the children, which is all of you, but as people who all have an earthly dad: we need to see God the Father as our true source of identity. Same point. But with one specific turn here: we need to seek Him for our ultimate fulfillment, not an earthen vessel. We know that no earthly father is going to be without mistakes or get it right all the time. This is actually one of the reasons Jesus says this. Matthew 23:9. This is the verse you never use on Father’s Day. I am going to use it.
Call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. (Matthew 23:9)
I know, this is taboo for today. You are going to be fine in about 30 seconds. He is not undoing the commandment to honor your father and mother. He is the Word made flesh. He is not undoing anything. What is He doing? He is saying, look to no one on earth as your ultimate source of identity. Paul said, you have many guides and teachers, but you do not have many fathers. I became a father to you in the gospel. There is nothing wrong with spiritual fathers. There is nothing wrong with earthly fathers. That is what Jesus is saying. He is saying, call no one on earth your heavenly source. Call no one on earth the place you actually originate from. You came through your father, but not from your father. That is the truth. You came through your father, not from your father.
So if you have wrong agreements that I am just like my dad, well, that is good if they are like the Father. It is not good if they are not. He is not undoing the commandment. He is saying, let’s look to the ultimate source, to know where we are supposed to get our identity from. That is my introduction. Are you ready?
THE FATHER WHO SEES YOU
Number one, the portrait of the Father: Jesus shows us the Father who sees you. The Father who sees you. I am going to read you four different passages out of the Sermon on the Mount that prove that.
Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 6:1)
But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:3 to 4)
When you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:6)
When you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:17 to 18)
What is the portrait here? The Father notices. God is not simply watching. God sees. What is the difference? Watching can be kind of creepy. He sees you when you are sleeping, He knows when you are awake. Santa Claus is a stalker. That is weird. I always feel like somebody is watching me. That is weird. There is watching, and then there is seeing.
What does He see? In these passages, He sees the intentions of the heart. He sees the inside. 1 Samuel 16:7 says man looks on the outside, but God sees the heart. Who is the only One who sees the heart? God. He actually sees how we go about doing things, not just what we go about doing. He actually sees why we go about doing things. He is not watching so He can reprimand. He is not watching so He can beat us up. What does it say? Your Father who sees in secret will reward you. He is looking to reward you. The Father sees so that He can reward.
Some of you believe God sees so He can reprimand. You are wrong. And whoever taught you that was wrong. I do not care if it was your daddy and he is sitting next to you. He was wrong. This says, your Father who sees in secret will reward you. He sees, and He is looking to reward. How many dads in here love to reward their kids? How many hate it? Good, just seeing who I needed to counsel this week. I do not think any father, from any culture, any religion, or any society, actually gets no joy out of rewarding his kids. There is something deep in the fabric of fatherhood that loves rewarding your kids when they do something good. We get that from the Father. He sees so He can reward.
He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)
He is a rewarder. The Father wants to bless us for doing things the right way, not just for doing the right thing. The Father wants to bless us for doing things the right way. He sees things nobody else sees. You might be like, ooh, I do not like that. He is looking for a place to reward. He is looking for a reason to reward you. He is like, I have all this stuff I want to give you. I have all this reward. I cannot wait until there is something I can reward. I need a reason. Give Me a reason. I want a reason to reward you. That is what the Father is doing right now.
So, speaking to the fathers and the children, fathers first: notice your kids, and make sure they notice you noticing. Verbally affirm the good you see. Reward the good. Verbally affirm the good you see, and make sure your kids hear you. Do whatever you have to do to make sure they hear you. Just like me grabbing my boys’ face and saying, you are my son, I love you, and you make me so happy. I am going to say it probably every day until they are out of my house. I love saying it. I am going to make sure they hear me.
We need to be intentional to look so that we can reward our children. We need to be intentional, because the truth is, we can often be more vocal about the bad than we are about the good. That is not a dig. It actually comes out of a place of wanting to protect. Fathers are saying, no, do not do that, because it is going to hurt. No, do not go there, you are going to harm yourself. We are saying no because we are trying to protect. Fathers are protectors. Fathers are called to protect, guide, and bless. So out of that need to protect, guide, and bless, we are often more vocally saying no than we are saying, that is good. We are more vocal about that is bad than we are about that is good. I am saying the first one is natural. The second one needs to be intentional.
You have to be intentional. I am going to find something to tell them. I am going to wait and watch. And when they do something good, I am going to say it. You need to point out what you see that no one else can discern yet. Did you know you are in a race to be the first to speak into your kids? You are in a race against the world to be the first to speak into their heart. Are you going to let the world win? Are you going to let their friends win? I am trying to leverage your competitive nature here. Do you want to be a loser in the race? Someone is going to tell them who they are. Someone is going to tell them what they should be. Someone is going to speak into their identity, and you better believe, for my kids, it is going to be me.
It is actually a principle of first mention. It is in the Scriptures. It is a good way to study the Bible. It is also just scientific. The first mention of anything becomes the foundation and a filter for every other mention. So I am going to tell my kids first, when I think about them, what is true about them, so that every other mention gets filtered through what I said. This takes intentional effort. This is fathering. Be the first to speak to the unique gifts in their heart. Intentionally affirm when it is good.
Now to the children: you need to look to God for your ultimate reward. Make sure your heart is right, and that you are only looking for affirmation from the Father, not from people, knowing that He sees what others miss. Even our earthly fathers are going to try their best, but they are going to miss what God sees every time. So even if you have the best father on the planet, and they are affirming, they still only see the outside. They do not see the heart. They can guess, they can try to discern what is in the heart, but God actually sees it. That is why you should know He sees what others miss, and look to Him alone for your affirmation.
You also need to check your motivations before you critique your earthly father. Are you just wanting them to feel pain because they failed? Sometimes we are even asking for attention, because we are not seeking it from the Father. We are asking for it from people who have failed us in the past. We are asking for it from our earthly fathers. The father should give it, absolutely. But where is the ultimate source? It is the Father.
This is for the grown-up children in the room. Sometimes we are looking to everyone but the Father for our heart-level needs. We are looking at everybody else. Some of you looked to me, and I failed you, and you got mad about it. Then you got a revelation: oh, he is not God. He is not. Something happens with spiritual fathers and earthly fathers. Because they are supposed to be imitators of God, they get set up as godlike figures. You have to fight that. You have to find your ultimate source in the Father. God sends people. God sends spiritual fathers. God sends friends to father us sometimes. But they are not the source. Just like Alan spoke on last week, a father in this house. Alan said that people are just like the outlet, but the power does not come from the outlet. It comes through the outlet. That is why you came through your father, not from your father. You have to get to the source and pull on that.
So we have a heavenly Father who sees us. That is number one.
THE FATHER WHO PROVIDES FOR YOU
Number two. Jesus shows us another part of the portrait: the Father who provides for you. I will read a bunch of verses.
When you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. (Matthew 6:7 to 8)
Therefore do not be anxious, saying, what shall we eat, or what shall we drink, or what shall we wear? For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. (Matthew 6:31 to 32)
Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? (Matthew 6:26)
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him? (Matthew 7:11)
God is our provider. It is His name. He called Himself Jehovah Jireh. That means the God who sees so that He can give. That is the literal translation. He sees the need so He can meet it. Our God is the provider, Jehovah Jireh. It has a connotation of sight. You can look this up in the Hebrew. It means He sees the need and fills it. He is not just giving you stuff. He is giving you exactly what you need.
The Father knows our needs. He does not simply know what He wants from us. He is not just thinking, I know what they need to do for Me. He knows what we need from Him. I know this is obvious, but you need to be reminded. He knows our needs. We should not see the Father as only someone to answer to, but as One who answers our requests and meets our needs.
The fact that He knows what we need before we ask does not mean we should not ask. Does it mean we should not bring our requests to God? No. Why? Because Scripture has to balance Scripture. Everything has to coalesce. This is mostly for Facebook: if your interpretation of one moment in Scripture does not match the clear interpretation of other moments of Scripture, Scripture is not wrong, you are wrong. Building doctrine off of one moment in Scripture is idiotic at best and heretical at worst. So He says, your Father already knows what you need before you ask. We could say, well, then we should not ask. But Philippians 4:6 says,
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)
So how do these things coalesce? How do they fit together? For this to work together, we have to understand something. The idea is asking with full trust that He knows our need already. That is why you can be anxious for nothing. He sees your need. That is why you can go and ask Him for everything, because He knows what you need in every place and in everything.
We are not sending up empty words to try to get God’s attention. That is what the Gentiles did, the people who do not believe in God. They were just trying to get the attention of some deity that would hopefully send the rain. We are not doing that. We are not asking from a place that is unsure whether He is actually able to help us. That is what we should discern from this. We are asking from a place of trust and assurance that He will answer, because He wants to answer. He is looking for it.
When it becomes empty phrases and many words, it is when we are trying to convince ourselves that God sees our need. It is when we are trying to convince ourselves that God wants to help. When you are praying a long time for the same thing in one setting, you need to ask yourself, am I praying knowing He knows my need, or am I praying to convince myself that He knows my need? Because a lot of times we are just dealing with our own unbelief, and we are wrapping an hour of prayer around it, not addressing the fact that we actually do not trust God.
He values us, not just generically, but as His kids. He values us as children. The Scripture is saying, are you not worth more than birds? Look at the birds. Are you not worth more than a bird? We are not asking some master for what we need, even though He is the Master of all. We are asking our Father, our Abba, the One we came from, and the One who loves us. We need to know that He cares about us, so that we can bring our cares to Him. He wants to give good gifts because He loves us, not because we are achieving anything or proving ourselves, and certainly not because we prayed the right way and said the right words. No, no, no, friend. It is who He is.
So, for the fathers: it is right that you want to work hard and provide for your kids. That is right. Do not let anyone look down on you for working hard, for making a lot of money, for providing for not only your kids, but their kids and their kids, because a good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children. I expect every father in here to be a good man. I am going to be a good man. So do not let anybody look down on you for that.
But also do not let your work take you from providing more than money. It is about the whole need. It is not just physical. It is emotional. It is spiritual. Some fathers and mothers work for a vacation they are not even present for. Some people work so hard for that vacation, and then they are not even there, because they are thinking about work. No judgment. Go hit that grind and pay for that thing, and bless the socks off your kids. Be generous. Be an imitator of God. Is He like, I will give you a little bit, it is okay, you can have a little crumb, here you go? No. He is like, I have a feast after a feast after a feast for you. You are like, prosperity gospel. Well, it is not the poverty gospel, that is all I am saying. I do not believe in the prosperity gospel, but I do not believe in the gospel without prosperity. He has plans for you, to prosper you and not to harm you. He is a rewarder.
The fruit of your labor should be enjoyed as you provide for your kids, dads. Do it physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I kiss my boys all over their face. I do it until they make me stop. I am lavish with it. It is not going to make them weak men. There was an ideology back in the day that you were going to turn boys into sissies if you kissed them. No, sir. It is going to put structure within. It is going to build strength in there. It says, I know at least one person who loves me. And then it is okay if you do not. You know why I am okay? Because of that man in the second row right there. I do not need you to like me. It is not because I decided one day that I am not going to be afraid of people. I do not have a fear of man on the inside, because a man built love inside. And guess what love does? It casts out all fear. I do not care what you think. I care what the Father thinks. I do care what my dad and my mom think. I care what my wife thinks. That is about it. So if you are not one of those people, have a great day.
To the dad’s children: on this point, that He provides, know this, that God is your ultimate provider. Your earthly dad will do his best, and maybe he does not. But even if he does do his best, it will never be perfect. I want you to try to understand what your father has actually sacrificed for you, and to be grateful for it, especially today. For everyone who has a relationship with their father, even if you do not have a relationship, I want you to spend time today thinking about what it must have taken, the sacrifice your fathers have put in for you. I want you to be intentionally grateful. Do not just say happy Father’s Day. Say, thank you for that time when you blank. Try to understand what they have sacrificed, but also trust that God knows what you really need. If you do not trust that now, I am going to encourage you, take a faith risk. Let Him prove Himself. He loves to prove Himself.
The most important note for all the children, which is everybody: do not worry about asking God the right way, but worry about asking with the right heart. Worry about asking with the right heart, because that is all that really matters. We have a heavenly Father who sees us and provides for us.
THE FATHER WHO SETS THE EXAMPLE
Number three. Jesus shows us the Father who sets the example.
You are the light of the world. Do not put a lamp under a basket. Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14 to 16)
I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. (Matthew 5:44 to 45)
The Democrat and the Republican, the Clintons and the Trumps, you fill in the blank, your in-laws and your outlaws. He makes His sun rise and fall on all of us.
You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5:48)
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. (Matthew 6:9)
If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:14 to 15)
Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 7:21)
What does this mean? I will break it down passage by passage. The Father does good things. He does good and glorious things to evil and to good people. How do you know? God is just good. He was good to you when you were a mess, like on Tuesday last week. You were a certain kind of mess before Jesus. Now you are just a different kind of mess. Do not believe me? Ask your spouse.
Jesus is saying the Father is the perfect example to follow. So what does that mean? It means we need to be good at stuff. We need to be good at things. You know what really gripes me? When Christian businesses stink at things. They slap a Jesus fish on garbage customer service and say, well, we are a Christian business. I say, I do not think so. If you were a Christian business, you would be better. Stop being bad at things and claiming you know the Creator of everything. Stop. Do not make the claim so you can prove it. Just stop. Be good at things. What will that do? It will give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Where did you learn that? I have the best Counselor ever. I have the best Partner ever. He is called the Father. He created everything. He knows it all. I ask Him all the questions all the time. He is not only good at everything, He is holy in every way and in everything. He is holy. He is set apart.
The Father is full of forgiveness. He is not keeping a record of wrongs over His children. He is releasing us from punishment while correcting our behavior. He has a will for us, and it is the only will that matters. He wants us to be like Him. He wants us to have His will. That means He wants us to will things into being that He wants, for our families, our cities, our nation, our world.
So, fathers, let me say this to you directly: grow in your skill set as a dad. Do not stop growing. Never stop learning. Do not be content where you are. Do not be down on yourself or condemning, but do not be content either. We can all get better. We are not capped by the upbringing of our own fathers. Stop that. That is ridiculous. You have been born again, from above. You are in a new family. Call no one on earth your father. We are not capped by our upbringing. We can be better communicators. We can be better listeners. We can be better leaders.
If the heavenly Father is the standard, we all have places to grow, and we should do so with intention. He is the standard, so we all have places to grow. I do not care how good you are. Here is what I am saying, dads: be a man worth imitating. Be the first to forgive. Make it a race. You do not want to be a loser in that race either, do you? I know I am flirting with the line of being too harsh. Be the first to forgive. That is what the Father does. Does He not forgive quickly? As soon as it happens. Be the first to forgive. Do not let your wife be first. Do not let your kids be first. Do not let your friends be first. You be first. Win the race of forgiveness for your kids, your spouse, your friends, your neighbors. Be known as a quick forgiver. I have been told I forgive too quickly. I have been told I need to let somebody languish a little longer in their sorrow. I say, I see the Father interrupting the speech of his prodigal son, throwing a cloak on him, saying, yeah, yeah, I know you are sorry, I do not care, let’s throw a party, you are home. Fathers forgive quickly. Fathers should be fast to forget.
Finally, for the dads: get in the full will of the Father. Do not assume you always know what is right. There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is death, the Proverbs say. Just because it seems right does not mean it is life. It could be death. It could be just the way your family has done it. Do not lean on that. Be a man of prayer. Seek God’s will in everything. Not all who say to Me, Lord, Lord, will enter, but only those who do the will. You need to get in the full will of God for your family. Get in the full will of God for your work. Get in the full will of God, period. Seek His will in everything.
For the children: give your dad some credit when he emulates the heavenly Father. Tell him. When you see the heavenly Father’s characteristics in your dad, say it. Say it to him, and say it to others. If you learned to be like the heavenly Father from your earthly father, tell him and tell others. I have already let it out of the bag a little bit, but I can absolutely stand here in front of you and say, I have learned to be like the heavenly Father from Timothy Hyers, who is right there. He has always been patient, and he has always been present, for me and my three brothers, my whole life. Even when my mom was extremely ill, he was patient, and he was present. Thanks, Dad. I am trying to be that. I am trying to be that for my boys. I am also trying to be that with all of you. That was so I did not cry.
Imitate your father when he imitates Christ, and forgive quickly when he does not. Do not hold his failures over him. Let them go. Forgive, and forgive quickly. Today, right now, in your heart, forgive your father. Every single one of you has something to forgive your father for. Do it. Be imitators of God, as children of God. Be imitators.
BE A MAN WORTH IMITATING
Here is my closing. Just three things for each of you in summary. For the fathers in the room: number one, see your kids. Really see them. Notice them, and make sure they notice you noticing. The Father notices what is hidden from others. Number two, provide generously and without anxiety, trusting the Father to meet all your needs. He gives good things. Number three, be a man worth imitating. The Father is the standard.
I asked that question this week. I get up here, and I have to share this honestly, so I usually get it on Wednesday and cannot let it out until Sunday. I asked the question, am I a man worth imitating for my boys in every area of my life? I thought through every area of my life, every aspect of my days, every aspect of my trajectory. You know what my answer was? No, I am not a man worth imitating in every area of my life. That hurt to be honest about. But I am inviting you into the same honesty. Because you know what I am doing now? I am going to get after those places with intention, so that I can say, yes, I am a man worth imitating in every area of my life.
For the children, which is everybody: number one, your earthly father’s limitations do not define your future. Period. The Father sees you and knows what you need. Number two, what your earthly father could not give you does not leave you empty, because the Father provides. Number three, the model you never had, or the model you lost, or the model you wished was different: the Father is the standard. He is the example. He is right there for you to follow.
Jesus showed us a portrait of the heavenly Father who sees, provides, and sets the example for us. As children of God, let us bring this portrait into focus today, and step into the fullness of all He has for us. Let’s do this with gratitude that we have a perfect heavenly Father, and that we are all growing in Him. Amen.